I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
