So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
not ubering you a puppy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
