I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
