Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
