Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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