The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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