ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize