omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
