I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
