Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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