She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
