I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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