you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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