um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
