Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
