this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
