she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
