bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
