i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
