You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
