I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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