Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
