i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
