They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
