Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
