who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
