whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
