last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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