Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
