you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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