dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
