You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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