Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
