i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
