I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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