yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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