This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
