Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
