We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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