you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
