they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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