i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
