I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
