He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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