Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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