I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
