Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
