420 ftw
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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