you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
