glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
