do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
