He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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