ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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