I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
