saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
