we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dick very happy bro
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
