I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
