guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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