if you like me you must not know who I am
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That accounts for only three of the penises
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
