her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
