I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Where is the hickey?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize