Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
