I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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