I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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