sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Girls should come with a carfax report
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Still dying that you shit outside
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
