I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He passed out mid-signature
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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