I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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