You really coming over, don't trick.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
