Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
