CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
